I’ve been trying to figure out a good way to post about this for a long time, and I finally found it tonight.
I’ve found the home of the weasels.
It all started with the Garden Weasel, which is actually a real product. I had seen it in so many direct response ads, that the name was pretty much stuck in my head. You know the kind of ad I’m talking about: the ones that show you the really cool (but actually nearly useless) thing you can buy for just $19.95 (But wait! There’s more!)
So at some point I was watching TV with Amy (and I think some of the other locals, as well), when one those ads came on. It was for this gadget that had wheels on the bottom and little tricycle-like handles sticking out on each side. The idea was that you get on the floor, grab the handles, and scoot this thing back and forth to build your ab muscles. I have no idea what it was actually called, because I immediately named it the “Ab Weasel.”
Ever since then, whenever I see a commercial for some phone-order gadget like this, my first priority is to figure out what kind of weasel it is. There was the Egg Weasel, the Pancake Weasel, the Knife Weasel, and of course Suzanne Somers advertising the classic Thigh Weasel. Basically, if it sells for $19.95 on TV, it’s a weasel of some kind. One of the latest ones I’ve seen has actually given me a bit of trouble. I can’t decide whether it’s the Bra Weasel or the Boob Weasel. I could argue for either one.
Tonight Amy and I were watching live TV and saw what was obviously the Shoe Weasel. At the end of the commercial, we noticed that the seller had an interesting mailing address, which I tried to map. I never could map it, but in trying to do so, I found the home of the weasels. I mean, it’s not the one and only home of the weasels, but it has some really great ones: the Closet Weasel, the Claw Weasel, the Push-Up Weasel (which, sadly, isn’t what one might hope it is), the Earlobe Weasel, the Purse Weasel… the list just goes on. Once I saw the home of the weasels, I realized I finally had my punchline.
So, if you hear me randomly calling something a “weasel”, you’ll know why.