funny

amusing items
05 May

Humor feeding itself

in funny, random

A section of an IM conversation with an old college friend tonight:

Me: So, Amy's going to end up in Detroit teaching some folks about Drupal.
Tony: Cool. Are they providing a flak jacket?
Me: Quite possibly. We also figure she needs to take an extra $50 with her so that she can buy a house and a few acres of land.
Tony: Heck. With $50 she could buy half of GM.
Me: ...and all of Chrysler.
Tony: *LOL*

Tony was roommate for a year. We lived in this ghetto apartment, him this big black guy, and me the scrawny little white boy. I used to joke occasionally that I was his bodyguard.

Anyway, Tony is the king of the snappy comeback. Keeping up with him for a few lines tonight was an accomplishment. :)

08 Feb

The home of the weasels

in funny, memories

I've been trying to figure out a good way to post about this for a long time, and I finally found it tonight.

I've found the home of the weasels.

It all started with the Garden Weasel, which is actually a real product. I had seen it in so many direct response ads, that the name was pretty much stuck in my head. You know the kind of ad I'm talking about: the ones that show you the really cool (but actually nearly useless) thing you can buy for just $19.95 (But WAIT! There's more!!)

So at some point I was watching TV with Amy (and I think some of the other locals at the time), when one those ads came on. It was for this gadget that had wheels on the bottom and little tricycle-like handles sticking out on each side. The idea was that you get on the floor, grab the handles, and scoot this thing back and forth to build your ab muscles. I have no idea what it was actually called, because I immediately named it the "Ab Weasel."

Ever since then, whenever I see a commercial for some phone-order gadget like this, my first priority is to figure out what kind of weasel it is. There was the Egg Weasel, the Pancake Weasel, the Knife Weasel, and of course Suzanne Somers advertising the classic Thigh Weasel. Basically, if it sells for $19.95 on TV, it's a weasel of some kind. One of the latest ones I've seen has actually given me a bit of trouble. I can't decide whether it's the Bra Weasel or the Boob Weasel. I could argue for both. :)

Tonight Amy and I were watching live TV and saw what was obviously the Shoe Weasel. At the end of the commercial, we noticed that the seller had an interesting mailing address, which I tried to map. I never could map it, but in trying to do so, that's how I found the home of the weasels. I mean, it's not the one and only home of the weasels, but it has some really great ones: the Closet Weasel, the Claw Weasel, the Push-Up Weasel (which sadly isn't quite what one might hope it is), the Earlobe Weasel, the Purse Weasel... the list just goes on. Once I saw the home of the weasels, I realized I finally had my punchline.

So, if you hear me randomly calling something a "weasel", you'll know why. :)

13 Nov

Song Leader Revolution

in funny, memories, music

I realize many of you won't understand why I in particular find this so funny, but oh the details for those who do understand... I give you Song Leader Revolution.

Wow. :)

15 Aug

Another 80's music meme

in Com-Pak Music Theater, funny, Links, random, Video Picks

Saw this one on Eyeore's LJ and of course was compelled to steal it. :)

(I got 80% right, BTW)

Your result for The Ultimate 80's Pop Music Test...
80's Music Encyclopedia
80's Music Encyclopedia

If this was a class in high school, you just broke the curve. I bet people come up to you all the time wanting answers to all of their 80's music questions, after all, you know practically everything there is to know about the best decade in music! You, sir or ma'am, are the platinum standard when it comes to 80's music knowledge. Congratulate yourself (and don't let it go to your head)!

Take The Ultimate 80's Pop Music Test at HelloQuizzy

03 Jul

The redshirt

in funny, geekiness

I feel like just about everyone who reads this site has seen the movie Galaxy Quest. I found it on the TiVo tonight and watched it again. It's just spot-on brilliant parody.

You all know that, though. This post is about Guy Fleegman, the character in the movie who we learn played the part of "Crewman Number 6", who was killed in one of the original Galaxy Quest episodes. All throughout the movie Guy is mortified that he's going to be killed. The rest of the Galaxy Quest cast constantly try to console him, and Guy does indeed make it to the end of the story. As a reward for his help and to prove that he's an important character, they give Guy a role in the new adventures of Galaxy Quest. That's all back story. What I didn't realize until just tonight is that I think the joke goes one layer deeper. I'll let you guys decide if I'm right.

Guy's character in the new series is "Security Chief 'Roc' Ingersol." If the new Galaxy Quest series is basically Star Trek: TNG, does anyone else remember the Enterprise D's first security chief and what happened to her in the very first season?

I could be reaching, but I don't think I am. :)

12 Jun

Debut Album

in funny, memes

Most of my friends in the blogosphere have been participating today in a meme that invites you to learn what your band name and debut album would be. I blame Amy for infecting me. :)

I have to admit that I spun the wheel again on mine, because the first one was just too random to even be amusing. My second try came up with:

what you looking at !!
Rich Villa Hotel's Dreamed It Would Be

[photo 'what you looking at !!' by Saleh AlKhulaifi]

06 Mar

Escapist Television

in funny, geekiness

I think most people who watch much television have those few escapist shows... ones that have absolutely nothing to do with reality but are addictive despite (or more likely because of) that fact. My best example for a long time was pretty much any show written by Aaron Sorkin. The West Wing and especially Sports Night were favorites of mine. The way I put it was that no one talks that way in real life, but it's such fun to watch. :)

My latest escapist TV comes courtesy of BBC America. It's a British car show called Top Gear. It stars three hosts who basically all play different aspects of the fool. They get to drive some of the most exotic cars on the face of the earth and then snark about them. Jeremy Clarkson, especially, is just notorious for chewing on the upholstery. Honestly, he comes across as a bit of an asshole, but when he's not making fun of something I care about, he's fun to watch and listen to. :)

Anyway, I've started quite looking forward to the show popping up on the TiVo each week. Part of the fun is that they drive not only really brilliant cars but also really insane cars. According to Clarkson on the show, VW got caught a bit flat-footed and ended up with only 8 weeks to build a concept car to show at a Golf/GTI convention in Austria last year. Just to give you a starting place... the GTI is VW's sporty version of their bottom-end compact front-wheel drive hatchback. Two big key words there: compact and hatchback. Well, they decided to go for full-out insanity last year. They stole a 12 cylinder dual-turbo 650 horsepower engine from the Bentley Continental GT, shoehorned it where the back seat normally goes in a GTI and made it rear-wheel drive. Here's a hint: the Chevrolet Corvette Z06 (the really fast version) has an engine that makes 505 horsepower.

Needless to say the car was a handful.

Listen to that! In the Bentley that engine is as quiet as a startled deer. Here, it's like being chased by an imploding star... and about as scary.

Unfortunately, there is a small problem... This car will not go 'round corners.

So, Top Gear top tip: If you want a slow car that looks like a Golf... get a Golf.

Here are a few more choice quotes from other segments:

Audis are mainly built for German cement salesmen.

It's not powered by some V17 quad turbo that gets half a mile per gallon and runs on diced lions.

I am now doing 100 miles per hour, and it sounds like I'm in church... only I've got more headroom.

This is like smearing honey into Keira Knightley.

Referring to his co-host, who was driving a Porsche 911:

Ah, Richard Hammond appears to have joined us in his Volkswagen Beetle.

12 Mar

Memory is a strange thing

in funny, geekiness, memories, music

In the category of the power of memory...

I just picked up a copy of a guilty pleasure from Second Spin on the cheap: Electric Youth by Debbie Gibson. I was getting ready to rip it just a few minutes ago, and something really weird happened. My eyes rested on the title of the opening track ("Who Loves Ya Baby?"), and in the space of about 2 seconds, my mind went from the title to a mental sound clip of the chorus to the smell of the ink used to print the liner notes for my old cassette copy (which was stolen along with the rest of my collection over 13 years ago).

I've heard before that smell is the sense most strongly tied to memory, but I've never had it go "backwards" like that before. For whatever reason, that tape's liner notes had a strong and distinct scent that none of my other tapes had, so I smelled it every time I opened up the case (which was REALLY often about 8th or 9th grade or so). I guess the association in my brain was stronger than I thought. :)

21 Jan

Technobabble stream of consciousness

in funny, linkfood, memories

Thanks to Thomas for the cool link that got me started on this one.

First, anyone who watches Mythbusters must see this Flash animation.

Seen it? Okay. Jamie's technobabble over the big diagram reminded me of an old electrical engineering in-joke: the turboencabulator. I have known for a long time about a video incarnation of this joke apparently made by some folks at Rockwell: The Rockwell Automation Retroencabulator.

However, what I didn't realize is that Chrysler took a shot at this old joke even earlier: The Chrysler Turboencabulator. Keep listening. There are some screw-the-customer jokes at the end.

I love how this old joke just keeps coming back.

Bonus for the Mythbusters fans
Do pretty girls fart?
I hope they pay the poor girl well.

23 Apr

when bands go bad

in funny, linkfood, memories, music, Video Picks

I've been meaning for a while to post about a dilemma I've had.

It's sad when a good band gets sucked into the dark side by a video director with a "vision". Anyone can make a crappy video, but it's especially painful to me when it's a successful band that should know better. Even worse when it's a song I actually enjoy.

Given that narrowed definition, I've been debating which of two videos I've seen truly qualifies as the worst video ever... the one that does the most damage to a song I really like. Read more »